The most important item on my desk.

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Treat Jar – A precious item

Okay, maybe I should say the most important after my computer. Without my computer, I wouldn’t be sitting at my desk!

But this treat jar is key. It allows me to be ready to reinforce nice behavior on the fly.

The problem I needed to solve: Dan historically has barked (a lot! and loudly!) at delivery people and sometimes when the neighbors dog barks or if he sees deer outside. It’s stressful for both of us and really disruptive to my work flow, especially if I’m on the phone.

So, I’ve been consistently practicing:
Hear a delivery truck, or dog = come to me for treat jar time.
When I hear the truck or dog, I call him by saying “Dan!” in a calm, happy voice. He comes running! He still might woof once or twice and thats fine with me. A few weeks ago, he started to come when he heard the truck or dog, rather than waiting for me to call him. Even better! And the treat jar made this possible.

Here’s some keys to our success with the treat jar:

Special treats.

I use a kibble or dry treat that is different from his normal food. This makes it more interesting than his typical kibble, but will still last a long time at room temperature.

Experience with the jar.

I stumbled across this when I took Julie Daniels class, “Cookie Jar Games” through Fenzi Dog Sports Academy . You’ll notice my jar has a metal screw top. This is important. It makes a very specific sound when you open it. This sound can function as a “click” – a marker to tell your dog “that’s the behavior I like!”. So if I’m on the phone, I don’t have to talk to my dog in order to mark the behavior of checking in with me, I can just open the jar.

(By the way, Cookie Jar Games is available for sale as a self study course and all $$ goes to a fund for Julie’s current cancer treatment – link is here: https://www.fenzidogsportsacademy.com/index.php/courses/4839)

How you give the treats is part of the reinforcer (part of what makes the behavior worth doing).

For Dan, it has been important to toss a few treats into his bed that is next to my desk. It sort of functions as a makeshift snuffle mat, so he can sniff around for the treats. This does three things.

  • It makes the treats more valuable, because there is a fun sniffing around activity that goes with them.
  • It also stretches out the treat experience in time. So if a truck or dog makes several noises across a few minutes, the doesn’t eat the treat and immediately run to the window and bark. He sniffs around for the treats for 15-20 seconds and then I can either toss a few more in the bed, or wait to let him offer another check in, depending on what I am doing and how intense the truck noise/dog barking is.
  • It gives a predictable place for the treats to land. So now when he hears the jar he actually stands between me and the bed. Sometimes he comes in and starts looking in the bed before I’ve gotten the treats there.

This isn’t just for barking, you can use it to reinforce any behavior you like. For example, if your dog is calmly resting in your office space, you can open the jar and place a treat near her nose (calmly). Or if your dog has stolen your underwear out of your closet, you can open the treat jar and trade treats for the underwear. Maybe give one treat to your dog directly for the initial trade, and then playfully toss a few more to add some movement (read: “fun”) into the treat-getting activity.

Finally, you don’t have to stop at one jar. We actually have 4 treat jars in our house. One by each dog’s crate for “going to bed”. One in the kitchen for calling in from outside, or going to mat while we are cooking/cleaning. And one in my office for coming when dogs bark/trucks come.

So, dig through your cupboards, pull out that nice jar you saved for something, someday, load it up and introduce your pup (and yourself) to the joy of the treat jar.

Home with your dog? Don’t forget the nap!

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Many of us are now home with our dogs, who prior to COVID-19, spent all day alone at home. I think this is fantastic for dogs to get so much more time with their people!

I’ve also seen tons of information about activities to do with your dog while you are all home. Enrichment activities, tricks, classes online, games, walks, and more walks. So much fun! This is all simply awesome. I love seeing people interact with their dogs more and use their creativity to come up with fun ways to enjoy each other more.

But I’ve had several questions about dogs who are struggling to adapt to this new, busy, stimulating lifestyle. For some dogs, who are used to 8 plus hours per day of quiet time, this is hard! While you’re at work, your dog is likely to be sleeping or at least resting. Now that the whole family is home, there’s more stimulation in the house and for some dogs this will prevent good rest and sleep.

Dogs sleep more than people! Most adult dogs sleep 12-14 hours per day (Becker, K. S., 2019). This is because dogs don’t accomplish REM sleep as easily as people do. They actually *need* more sleep. And just like for people, if your dog isn’t getting enough sleep or isn’t feeling rested, behavior problems could arise.

So, keep up the enrichment and play and walk times! But also consider offering your dog a nap time if your household is suddenly busier. Set up a comfy spot in a quiet room. Leave your dog with a stuffed kong or other special chewy item in case she decides not to sleep. Turn on some soothing music or white noise. Turn the lights down. And let your pup doze for an hour or two.

Sophie, Sleeping (Goldendoodle)
Sophie, Sleeping
Photo Credit: Bethany P

Here are some studies and articles related to sleep in dogs:

Becker, K. S. (2019). How much sleep should your dog get? [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2019/02/08/dog-sleep.aspx

Bódizs, R. Kis, A., Gácsi, M., & Topál, J. (2020). Sleep in the dog: comparative, behavioral and translational research. Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences, 33, 25-33. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1016/j.cobeha.2019.12.006

London, K. (2016) A study of sleep in dogs. The Bark. Retrieved from https://thebark.com/content/study-sleep-dogs

When to (or when not to) Change a Behavior

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Keeping with the theme of decision making in what to work on with your dog, I’d like to talk a bit about deciding whether or not to change a behavior.

Many of my clients come to me with an idea of what a dog should do, of how a dog should behave.  Or sometimes they ask questions like “is it ok that Sparky gets up on the couch?”.  “Is it ok if Sparky sleeps in the bed with me?”  My answer is – you, your family, and your dog get to decide together.  Every family has different household needs.

Some behaviors absolutely need to be changed for the safety of you, your dog, or other outside parties.  Anything that falls into the category of safety risks should definitely be on the list of behaviors to change.  You might address these problems with a combination of management and training*.  

For other behaviors, it might not be so straight forward.  All of the behavior your dog does is for a purpose.  All behavior exists to either gain access to something or to gain distance from/prevent something.  So, it is important to consider the impact of a behavior on the entire household – not just on you, but on your dog too.  

It might be easier to demonstrate this with some examples:

Doug steals socks. 

He always has since he was a tiny baby.  I’m not sure exactly why socks, because I’m not Doug.  But I could guess that they either smell good or feel good to hold.  I’ve been very careful to never, ever chase him or go get the sock from him, because I didn’t want to turn it into a game.  I didn’t want him to steal socks.  For a long time it really bothered me.  But here’s the thing.  He’s never so much as made a tiny hole in any sock.  He just carries it around for awhile, then abandons it and, later, I go retrieve it.  This is not a safety risk (he doesn’t ingest the sock material or show aggression when someone approaches while he’s holding the sock).  It is a minor annoyance.  And at some point, I decided to stop worrying about it.  It’s really quite cute.  And harmless.  And he is getting something out of it or he wouldn’t keep doing it.  So I’m not going to change this behavior.  

Now, if your dog steals items and chews them or swallows pieces of them, that could be a safety risk.  If your dog steals items and then displays aggression over the item when you approach, that is a safety risk*.  In those situations, you need to use management and/or training to minimize the safety risks.  This might mean trading a special treat for a stolen item, keeping counters/tables/floors clear, and providing lots of dog-safe things for your dog to carry and chew. 

Doug, resting with his latest sock find

Dan likes to dig. 

The photo below gives you an idea of just how much he likes to dig.  He will dig enormous holes.  I’m not sure exactly what he gets out of this activity – maybe it feels good or smells good.  I do know he likes to watch earth worms, so maybe he digs until he finds a worm to watch? Whatever it is, the activity itself is enjoyable for him.  

When Dan was young, my father-in-law taught him to dig on cue.  If Dan was digging he would go stand by the hole and look at it with Dan and say “dig-em dig-em dig-em Dan” and Dan would dig and dig.  After a few episodes of this, Dan would begin to dig if you chanted “dig-em”.  This turned out to be quite useful.  The only harm in Dan digging is when he digs in my flower bed.  I don’t really mind if he makes a hole in the yard.  That is fix-able.  I can fill it back in.  But I do enjoy my flowers.  So, if Dan is digging in a spot I don’t like, I can make a small hole in another spot and encourage him to dig there.  In this case, I did decide to change the behavior.  But by offering a different digging area, Dan can still get all of the enjoyment of digging.  I don’t need to stop the behavior completely and I probably shouldn’t.  Dan does this behavior for a reason, even if it isn’t super clear to me what he gets out of it (since I’m not Dan)

Dan in his designated digging pit

Before you begin to change your dog’s behavior, consider why he is doing that behavior.  If you still decide you need to change it, can you provide an alternative for your dog to gain the same or similar experience another way?  

***If you are observing a behavior that poses a safety risk you should work with a qualified professional dog trainer or behaviorist to make the situation safe.***

Prioritizing your Training Goals

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Last week I wrote about how it can be overwhelming when you have a long list of training goals – which is the case for so many of us.  

Today I want to talk a bit about how I choose which of those things to focus on first in training. My three main considerations are safety, quality of life, and preventability.  Some of this is a bit subjective – it won’t be black and white.  But hopefully this guide will help you to choose priorities if you have a long list!

First, here’s my list in order of importance:

  1. Safety at home
  2. Safety in public
  3. Quality of life (no or low safety risk)
  4. Minor problems

Now lets break these down a bit:

Safety at home:

This is top priority, hopefully for obvious reasons.  But let’s talk about breaking that down within this category.  I will always prioritize human safety first.  If there is a dangerous situation for the humans in the home, especially children, that has to be changed immediately.  This is in the best interest of both the people and the dog.  Of course we don’t want people to be injured, but often if a dog injures a person, it’s prognosis for a good quality of life is decreased. 

Some Examples:

1.  Any behavior you would label as “aggressive” – biting, snapping, growling, scratching, lunging, intense barking

2. Behaviors that are not necessarily “aggressive” but could injure a person, another animal or your dog – jumping up on an elderly person or child, counter surfing (especially if your dog has a tendency to ingest stolen items), mouthing or biting during play

Dan at home
Dan at Home.

Safety in public:

This is a second priority because it is possible to keep your dog home if there is a public-only safety risk.  But it is important to address because at some point your dog needs to leave the house.  Even if just for a vet visit, there is a risk that the dog may get out of your car or that you’ll encounter an unexpected scenario on the way.  Additionally getting out into the world, to have positive, enriching experiences can greatly improve your dog’s quality of life.  Keeping them home forever is limiting.

Some examples:

1. Any behavior you would label as “aggressive” that occur outside the home – biting, snapping, growling, lunging, scratching, intense barking

2. Behaviors that are not necessarily “aggressive” but could injure a person, another animal or your dog – running away, chasing cars

Quality of life (low or no safety risk):

This would include anything that contributes to your ability to care for your dog’s basic needs, but doesn’t pose a safety risk.  These include behaviors that occur in situations you can avoid for a period of time but not forever

Some examples:

1. Anything that leads to more enrichment opportunities – Polite walking on leash, off- leash reliability, toy play skills, tricks, or sports

2. Behaviors that lead to more comfortable experiences for required care – Vet-related behaviors, grooming related behaviors, traveling in the car

3. Barking in unavoidable or frequent situations

4. Behaviors that impact your enjoyment of each other – potty training, sleep schedules, ability to rest calmly in the house

Cody in the car

Minor Problems:

This would include anything that you wish your dog did/didn’t do but isn’t a safety risk and doesn’t impact quality of life.  These are behaviors that:

– Are easy to manage or prevent
– Occur in very specific situations or occur rarely
– Are not a safety risk when they do occur 

Some examples:

1. Begging, Digging, Stealing items (when your dog doesn’t chew them or eat them)

2. Jumping up (when there isn’t a safety risk)

3. Barking in specific, avoidable situations

Dan after digging. A behavior we’ve decided is fun for him and harmless for us.

As you work through and sort your list, you may find that you need to break a category down into smaller chunks. When doing so you might consider this:  Can you manage the behavior to avoid/prevent it from occurring for a period of time, until you can work on that behavior?  If your management plan fails, what are the safety risks?  

You may have considerations I didn’t mention when you are choosing your priorities.  If you do, please share below!  

Be Gentle With Yourself

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Animal training and behavior is an exciting field to be a part of right now!  It’s changing and growing so fast.  Every day I am seeing new creative and thoughtful training procedures on social media.  We are considering the preferences and emotions of our animals more than ever.  This is wonderful!

But, its also a lot to keep up with!  It is so easy to put tons of pressure on ourselves to keep up with it all.  To fix it all and solve it all and train it all.  But each goal takes time and even my eager-to-work border collies can only train so much in one day.  For most of us, life is busy in general too.  We have to balance pet care with caring for our homes, our relationships, our self-care, and our careers.  It can be paralyzing.  It can lead to getting “stuck”.

When I get overwhelmed and bogged down by all of this stuff, my mom will say “be gentle with yourself”.

I have been focusing on putting this at the top of the list.  And in turn, it has meant I am able to be more clear-minded about the goals I have.  I’ve been able to take more actionable steps towards reaching them and I have not been “stuck” as often.

Be gentle with yourself.  

Treat yourself with the same empathy and compassion that you would show for your animal partner.  Choose one or two main goals.  Think about breaking your goals down in to small, easy to accomplish steps.  Try not to focus on the things you haven’t done yet.  Instead, focus on what you are accomplishing.  Take a little data so you can see your progress over time.  If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with your goals, take a break.  Do something to allow yourself decompress before you circle back to working towards your goals again.  Be gentle with yourself. 

Doug in the snowy woods
A decompression walk for me and Doug – he enjoys it but it is equally important for me too.

How Dog Training is Like Going to the Gym

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How Dog Training is Like Going to the Gym

My husband and I are back in our 3x/week gym routine, now that the holiday season is over and it is dark and cold in the evenings.  We went sporadically before Thanksgiving (well he was consistent, but not me).  And every time I went it it was almost like starting over.  It turns out that going once every other week has very little lasting impact.

Dog and Human, doing yoga together: ErharYaksaa [CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)]
Photo Credit: ErharYaksaa [CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)]

I’ve often used the “training your dog is like going to the gym” analogy with clients. Our gym has some motivational quotes painted on the wall. Last night I spent my 45 minutes there thinking about how they also apply to dog training.

I’ll share them with you:

1. “Don’t wish for it, work for it”

Yup, you’ve gotta actually go to the gym and do the work.  Just like dog training, you have to put in the time and effort. 

Along these same lines, in order to reach your goals, you have to have a plan.  For example, say your goal is to run a 5K. While showing up at the gym is great first approximation, you can’t go to the gym and halfheartedly do the elliptical to meet this goal. You have to build up to actually running.  Your effort has to be focused towards your goals.

2. “Results happen over time, not overnight.  Work hard, stay consistent, be patient”

You probably can’t run a 5K on your first day at the gym either! (Or maybe you can, but it won’t feel good tomorrow). Likewise, your dog can’t learn to walk nicely on a leash in one session. It takes practice over time.

On the same topic, you usually can’t tell a large difference from one gym visit to the very next visit.  But if you compare the first visit (maybe months ago) to the one yesterday, the differences are huge.  Dog training is like this too. Results are born from building on success over time.

This is one reason that keeping a training log or similar data can be so helpful.  It makes the tiny improvements more visible.  Sort of like tracking how many sit ups you can do.  Maybe the first time it was 5, then 6, then 6 again, then 7.  But across a few weeks you might get up to 20.  When you compare 5 to 20, that’s a huge improvement!

Staying consistent is another key factor.  Jumping around too much or changing your goals all the time can split your attention so much that it’s impossible to make progress toward any one goal.  Have your dog trainer help you to pick a few top priorities and stick to them until you reach your desired results.

3. “If you feel like quitting, remember why you started”

This one is going to be personal and different for everyone, but in some way, you chose to go to the gym to improve your quality of life. 

When you chose to start down the training path with your dog, it was likely a decision you made with the goal of both improving the quality of your life and your dog’s life.

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Puppy class is for everyone!

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Puppy Class is for Everyone!

If you’ve been following my Facebook page, you know that we have a new addition to our household. Little Doug joined us on July 31st at 8 weeks old. The past 3 and a half weeks have been full of puppy playtime, socialization opportunities and learning about each other.

One of the things I have been most excited about is going to puppy class! It’s been quite awhile since I have attended a puppy class, even though I teach puppies all the time. Several of the people in my life have asked me “Why do you need to go to puppy class? Don’t you already know how to train a puppy?”

Yes, I do know how to train a puppy and I’ve been re-reading all of my puppy books over the last few months as a refresher too. But puppy class is still important. Here’s why:

  1. Doug is learning to be in a classroom. I hope to do various dog sports with Doug, so this is a skill he really needs!
  1. Doug is learning that other dogs nearby doesn’t always mean playtime. Sometimes he needs to work with me, despite the other fun opportunities around him.
  1. It is a great tool for me to keep me on track. Even for a dog trainer it is easy to lose focus when raising a puppy and slack on training or socialization. Going to class each week is a great way to hold me accountable for practicing with Doug.
  1. I am learning something different about Doug by going to class with him. I know how he is at home, in our neighborhood, and at the vet now. But in class I can see which skills he has mastered and which ones he needs practice with in one more setting. For example, he struggles to just relax without something specific to do. This is something we are working on now. But one of his strengths is ignoring other dogs even when they are barking at him. He was able to stay focused on me and the task at hand when another puppy in class was begging him to play!

I encourage everyone, no matter what you plan to do with your dog, to take a good puppy class. The right fit for a class will be different for everyone and every puppy class is a bit different. So be sure to ask what is covered, what the structure of the classroom will be, and consider what you want to get out of the class when choosing one.

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reactivity 1

Reactivity – An Epidemic

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Leash reactivity, leash aggression, barrier frustration, dog reactive, dog selective…these are all terms used to describe basically the same problem. And it is a problem that is so widespread that I rarely leave my house without witnessing this behavior. In fact, my very own dog exhibits this behavior in certain situations. 90% of my clients have dogs that engage in reactive behavior.

reactivity 2reactivity3

Above:  Dogs Reacting

I know that these behaviors aren’t new, but they are becoming more and more common and it is time to work towards preventing reactivity rather than  only doing damage control to fix reactivity.

Almost every dog owner I work with has a desire of either bringing the dog when they eat at an outdoor café, brining the dog to the beach or park, or taking the dog on a camping trip. We want our dogs to be integrated into our families and be part of the family activities. But, if that is the goal, we’ve got to put in the effort! It isn’t natural for dogs to be confined by a leash in a crowded place. That is a scary situation for them without the right training.

crowded-day-at-huntington1       Screen Shot 2016-05-23 at 5.15.54 PM

Above:  Common expectations of the modern day dog

Modern dogs are either under or over stimulated most of the time. Mental, physical, and social stimulation is not evenly distributed over their day. They are alone in a quiet house and then walking on a busy street or unleashed at a crowded dog park.

60 or 70 years ago, dogs had the freedom to wander the neighborhood, visit with the children across the street, follow their owner on errands and so on. They were able to fulfill their mental, social, and physical needs independently. They could seek out the social interactions they needed in order to feel satisfied and they could avoid the situations they did not enjoy. Now, we control access to almost every experience our dogs have.

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Above: Historical dog, free to make choices

I think a big contributor to the problem of reactivity is the push to socialize your dog. Most dog owners now understand that in order to integrate their dog into their daily activities outside of the house, they need to do something. They need to socialize their dog. But, I think that sometimes more harm than good is done when attempting to socialize dogs.

I am not saying that socialization is a bad thing, but rather that it is usually done wrong! For most people “socialization” = “go to the dog park daily” or “meet lots of people and dogs”. This is not socialization. This misunderstanding of socialization results in repeated exposure to stressful situations that the dog is unable to avoid. What does a dog do when they can’t avoid a stressor? (Hint: What does any creature do?) They aggress. They fight when flight is not an option.

dog-greeting-300x200     Two dogs meeting on a walk

scareddogs

Above:  Pushy and scared dogs meeting on leash,
two unhappy dogs meeting

Sometimes this aggression is a lunge, bark, or snarl of frustration. But sometimes it results in a snap, nip, or bite. Even the (only…) lunging, barking dog is causing damage though. He’s screaming at the other dog! He is teaching other dogs he encounters that some dogs behave this way seemingly out of the blue, despite the passing dog’s efforts to communicate “I mean no harm!”. Now the passing dog has learned that his communication was not effective. With repetition he will find another way to say “stay away, you are scaring me!”. It might look like aggression. And this is how reactivity and aggression spread throughout our communities.

To socialize correctly, we need to be more thoughtful about what our dogs encounter and how to handle that situation. The need for this comes from the intensity that has developed in our living situations. Because it is so easy for your dog to be overwhelmed, you have to break down every experience into smaller pieces. We need to make every new experience 100% enjoyable for the dog. We need to give our dogs the freedom to say “no, I don’t want to go to the dog park today” or “no, I don’t want to go to the dog park ever”. And we need to provide structure for social encounters so that we can develop dogs who are safe, confident, and happy.

parallel-walk-cerb_fly      xintroduce-puppy-gsd.jpg.pagespeed.ic.v8eFayZtSb

Above:  Good social interactions between dogs, positive experiences and happy dogs

How can we stop the reactivity epidemic?

  1. Smart, structured socialization.
  2. Teach impulse control.
  3. Teach leash manners.
  4. Prevent pushy greetings.
  5. Let your dog’s body language tell you when he’s nervous.
  6. Don’t assume every dog wants to meet your dog. Ask the dog’s owner then, ask the dog by observing his response to your dog.
  7. LEASH YOUR DOG, to prevent unwanted greetings.
  8. Interrupt inappropriate interactions by calling your dog or leading away gently, and rewarding the behavior of moving away.
  9. Don’t punish aggression or reactivity. It will make it worse.
  10. Get help right away from a qualified, positive dog trainer or behavior consultant if you notice any sign of reactivity or aggression in your dog. Don’t assume it will go away on it’s own. It won’t.
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Saying Goodbye to Sammy – Making the Decision

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Last month, we had to make the toughest decision a pet owner makes for our Sammy.  This post is about how we made the decision that it was time.

The last year has consisted of many ups and downs for Sammy. Her sight and hearing had diminished, her anxiety had increased, and she has had a hard time keeping weight on. But, she had still always been up for a walk, a game of ball, or a car ride. She still loved life despite the hardships that old age had caused.

A week or so before we had to say goodbye, she took a turn for the worse. But it wasn’t in any of the ways people said it would happen. I’ve been expecting this for months now, and have been trying to understand what to look for. Every book out there that discusses pet euthanasia focuses on very observable, physical problems. Many stories I have read online describe a horrible last few days of vomiting, diarrhea or a dog who cannot stand up. Or a dog whose mind is so far gone that they are aggressive. Or a dog who no longer wants to play, walk, or eat.

Sammy never experienced any of these things. And so I feel I need to share her story because she cannot be the only dog who left the world the way she did. And I want to let other pet owners know that you might never see these physical outcomes when it is time for you pet to leave this world.

Over the last year, Sammy has had more and more trouble sleeping through the night. This is common for older pets (and people!). She often got thirsty at 3 AM or needed to go potty. These were easy needs to meet and, like a newborn baby, you could tell you found what she needed because she stopped barking and was able to calm down and go back to sleep. Even though I was often getting up several times a night with her and I was often so so tired, I felt happy to have the honor of taking care of my old girl.

In the last few months though, there started to be nights where it seemed impossible to figure out what she needed. She would wake up and bark endlessly despite offers of water, food, potty breaks, petting, playing, night lights, complete darkness, thundershirts, sweaters, heated beds, elevated beds, extra meds, and so on. After several hours of barking she would sometimes calm down and go to sleep. These nights were brutal for me because I often got just a few hours of good sleep and even when Sam slept through the night I was always worried about her and never slept that well. But they were few and far between – maybe this happened twice a month. We would go to the vet for her regular acupuncture appointments and they seemed to help – she would be her normal self again for a few weeks before we started over. And remember, during all of this time she still loved to play, walk, and cuddle. She could get through a whole day with no incontinence most of the time and was mobile enough that she could do almost everything on her own (except our slippery inside steps – we’ve been carrying her for two years now after some scary slipping incidents).

But the night-time barking episodes became more frequent. We reached a point where she couldn’t sleep at all in our bedroom so Justin and I took turns sleeping on the couch with her downstairs. And then we reached a point where she stopped sleeping at night. She would bark almost all night long. She would sleep a few hours in the early morning and then I would try to keep her awake the rest of the day. I took her everywhere with me, I walked her extra, played with her extra trying to be sure she would be tired at night. Sometimes she would sleep for a few hours but she was always awake from about midnight until 4 or 5 AM.

Sammy never seemed relaxed – even though she still got plenty of joy from her daily activities. She was already on several anxiety meds and has been for 2 years or so. I have been reading about doggy dementia as much as possible and she never showed many of the signs – no walking in circles, no getting stuck behind furniture, no confusion about who me or Justin were. She often would get stuck on a rug, barking because she was afraid of the wooden floor. But this is something that has been going on for years and we’ve been able to work through it by purchasing tons of rugs!

One week, we encountered 4 nights in a row of her night-time barking episodes. Justin and I were both zombies from lack of sleep. Our anxiety was extremely high because we felt we couldn’t console or comfort her. The other pets in the house were just trying to stay out of the way, but were clearly stressed by the whole situation. Our cat, Cecil, would spend all night going from the couch with me to the bed with Justin and back – he hated the change in our routine. Dan spent most of his time in the front living room, avoiding Sammy’s space in the den. Our other cat, Ida, became glued to our laps, looking for comfort. We basically stopped eating dinner at home so that Justin and I could have an hour each day to talk with each other without Sammy barking in the background.

We had reached our capacity and came to the very difficult decision that it was time for Sammy. The quality of life for our whole household was not good. The amount of stress and anxiety that all of use were experiencing was not healthy. And despite Sammy’s eagerness to engage in life, she just couldn’t ever relax! Everyone had told me that I would know when it was time. I have to say, I never did know for sure. Sammy never reached the point where she couldn’t stand up. She never had terrible incontinence or endless vomiting. She never stopped getting excited to go for a walk. But Justin and I decided together that we didn’t want to wait for that to happen. If we could prevent Sammy from experiencing any of that, it was a gift we wanted to give her.

And so, we made the appointment with our beloved vet to let Sammy go.

Again, I want to share this in the hopes that it will provide courage to other pet owners who might be in this situation. For us, we reached a point where we could not provide Sammy with the care or quality of life that we wanted to. We reached a point of emotional fatigue. Caring for an elderly pet is stressful, and it is okay if that is a contributing factor in your decision to put your pet to sleep. For some reason in our society, it is harder to let go due to the mental health decline we experienced than it is when there is physical decline. But for Sammy, her mental health decline was probably just as stressful and unpleasant as a physical limitation.

She was the kind of dog that never stopped doing what she thought she should be doing unless you made her stop. When we lived in Texas and went to the dog park I would throw the Frisbee once or twice and then make her rest because it was HOT! She would take the Frisbee to every other person in the park to keep playing fetch. I would have to go get her and leash her to get her to leave. That was her attitude toward life – keep working until she was made to stop. She never quit doing anything on her own. And I believe that her enthusiasm for fetch and walks and car rides in those last weeks of her life was exactly the same thing. She wanted to keep doing it because she felt that she was supposed to. And she would never have stopped on her own. We had to help her by letting her go.

 

How long does it take?

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I went to have blood drawn the other day, just routine blood work. The phlebotomist asked me what my job was. This is our how the conversation went:

Me: “I’m an animal trainer” – that has become my standard answer
Her: “Wow, cool – what animals? Do you go into their homes?”
Me: “Yes”, I said, “Mostly dogs”.
Her: “Oh wow, neat…I don’t have a dog…how long does it take to train one?”

“How long does it take????”

The burning question everyone wants to know.

Think about it – we plan our days, often down to the minute. That is the first question everyone asks (maybe after cost) to a mechanic, at a restaurant, when travelling somewhere, when going to school, when having carpet installed. For everything you do, time matters.

Our society puts such an emphasis on how much time something consumes. And rightfully so. Along with money, time is one of our most valuable resources because you can’t get it back once you spend it.

But how about these questions:

“How long does it take to learn how to play classical piano?”
“How long does it take to get in shape?”
“How long does it take for a child to learn the alphabet?”
“How long does it take to become a good golfer?”

The answer to all of these questions is – it depends. It depends on a few things:

  1. Your natural ability to do the skill – some people are born to play music!
  2. Your starting place – have you ever even seen golf?
  3. How often you practice – think back to your childhood piano lessons
  4. Who you practice with, who you train with – you can go to the gym everyday and have very little luck getting in shape.
  5. And then it depends on so many more tiny variables that you won’t expect will crop up! – Maybe you were born to play music but your piano is junky and you have only heard country music your whole life. You would likely be at a disadvantage to someone who owns a baby grand and has grown up listening to Mozart.

Much like these scenarios, there is no formula for how long dog training takes. It depends on so many things that most of the time I can’t really give you a good guess. I just met you and your dog. I have no idea how dedicated you will be or how much natural ability you and your dog have.

My dog, Dan just turned 4. We have been working on reducing his reactivity towards other dogs for 3 years. 3 years. He is not yet perfect – far from it! But, he has made HUGE progress. He can practice agility in a barn with dogs he does not know. He can go for a walk in the neighborhood without having a meltdown. We play Frisbee in the park with no issues. We can take a drive and he can look at dogs quietly as we pass by. He basically can live the life of a normal pet dog with only a few minor revisions.

Okay so let’s look at the variables I listed above:

  1. Natural skill: Dan is smart but doesn’t have the natural tendency to relax – which is needed to be good at the behavior we are working towards.
  2. Starting place: In a downtown apartment in a crowded city full of unpredictable dogs! Ahhhhh!!! (Now we are in a house in a relatively quiet neighborhood – oh the difference!)
  3. How often you practice: I go in spurts, I’ll admit. We have at times practiced daily and then go for several months without working very hard on this issue. But I do work with Dan regularly on something, just sometimes other goals. This is important because even though we aren’t working on interaction with other dogs, I am building more consistent behavior in Dan through all training we do.
  4. Who you practice with: I have great friends to practice with at the agility barn and access to a wealth of information on this topic. I would say we are in a pretty good position on this one, but I have worked hard to create these scenarios for us.
  5. Other variables: There have been tons. Too many to list. But some examples include; the highly reactive dog on our street (a setback), moving into a house with a yard (an advantage), unexpected encounters on walks (setback), access to good parks for exercise (advantage)…and so on.

These are all of the things that have contributed to the length of time our progress has taken.

But, if I were to go back and do it over, I would want it to happen the exact same way. Because with every setback, I have learned something about Dan (and dog training in general).

By taking our time we have been able to build a wonderful relationship rather than being frustrated with each other. When we haven’t worked directly on interactions with other dogs it is because we’ve been doing other stuff that is less stressful and more fun for both Dan and me. When I have the emotional strength to practice Dan-dog interactions and he is in a good place to do so, we do it. I let him tell me how fast he wants to go.

Besides, even after we master Dan-dog interactions, we will find another training project to do! That is where we get our fuel for our relationship. To Dan, it is all a game and he hopes I will never stop playing.

So, my new answer to “How long does it take to train your dog?” is “His whole life”.